Mythographical

Peen-Boy 3,000 A.D.

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Wikipedia

How famous do you have to be to be on Wikipedia?  I just found out I'm on there, so I went and edited it a little, adding some new information about myself.

I would never have started this by myself.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Ahlquist

Peeny-Boy 1,000,000 BC

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THE TROUBLE WITH IGOR

One of the highest complements you can get is when someone produces a piece of fan art based on one of your works.  Chris Reilly and Gus Fink got one from "Tara B." shortly after meeting her at the san Diego Comic-Con, 2006.

On Vox: The Meta-Fictional Edgar Allen Poe

 

    I've been thinking a lot about Edgar Allen Poe recently, not his writing per se, or even his life as such.  Due to a weird coincidence I've read two mystery novels released in the last three months both of which treat the historical character of Poe as a character in the story.
   

» Read more on Vox

   

Captain Hook versus Ursula

This story was written when I thought I might have a chance writing a crossover story in which Captain Hook from Peter Pan fights against Ursula from The Little Mermaid.  It was a test run for a book that never happened, but I liked it enough to run it here.

(Note:  This is a three-page story in which Hook explains why he considers Ursula an enemy.  In the course of the larger story it will be used by Hook to get characters who would otherwise not trust him to do so.)

1-1
Hook’s face, close-up, shiny with sweat, illuminated by fire.  His expression is a mixture of exasperation and rage.

Hook:        Why?  I’ll tell you why!

1-2
Flashback.  A younger Hook, on the deck of his first command, a British Privateer, his arms crossed behind his back.  He looks less villainous, but no less determined.  A younger Smee stands by his side, wearing a proper military uniform.

Hook (OP):    I was a new Captain, one of the youngest in the history of the fleet, but hungry, in my way, for greater glory.  I felt it was my destiny.

1-3
A crazy island, tall, thin, that stretches from the ocean to the clouds high above.  It’s not a straight column to the sky, but zigzags irregularly, like a thick lightening bolt frozen in rock.  This is the island Purgatoria.  Hook’s ship is engaged in battle against another ship flying the French flag.

Hook (OP):    I was engaged in battle with Napoleon’s forces in the South Seas, near the island Purgatoria, part of the Literary Archipelago.

1-4
Hook is at the rail of his ship, bowing curtly but politely to Ursula, who has clambered partially out of the water, to the top of a group of rocks, so as to be roughly the same height as Hook.  She smiles obsequiously.  Hook has never met a creature so… mythological… before, and so he’s being smart and cautious.  In the background, on the water, the French ship is burning to the water, and tentacles are grabbing the French crew and dragging them to watery depths.

Hook (OP):    It was as the French ship sank that I met the ancient and terrible Sea-Hag Ursula for the first time, her minions were dragging the struggling French crew to their watery graves…

1-5
Closer on Ursula and Hook, they share the panel in a more intimate way, though their positions haven’t changed.  They are extra cordial to each other, their civility hiding their contempt for each other, the more they hate, the politer they become.  They find each other loathsome.

Ursula:        Brave admiral, victorious in battle, noble in countenance, implacable in demeanor.  I have need of a man so brave.
Hook:        You mistake me ma’am, for I am not an Admiral but a captain.  Now away with you monster, before I turn my cannons on you.

1-6
Close-up on Ursula, she’s angry but controlling it.  She needs Hook for some reason, and she’s in her manipulative mode.

Ursula:        Brave and determined but not wise.  You would insult one with the power to sink your ship in an instant?  I call you Admiral not because you are but because you could be, with my help…

2-1
Hook bows again, acceding Ursula’s point.  Ursula smiles, feeling she has made her point, and happy to see Hook coming around.

Hook:        Forgive my abominable manners, madam.  In sensing my ambitions you have piqued my curiosity.
Ursula:        There are things in this world, Captain, that try as we might, we cannot do for ourselves.  For instance, I am prevented, by dint of my nature, from walking upon that island, just as you are prevented, due to your young age, from advancing to the rank of Admiral.

2-2
Hook smiles, a tight smile, barely a smile at all.  Ursula looks downright threatening.

Hook:        The difference, I would suggest, is that in the fullness of time I will reach my goal of proper age for the Admiralty, whereas I doubt nature will see fit to evolve your grotesque octopodial form to that of a land walking vertebrate.
Ursula:        What makes you think, Captain, that I will allow you the fullness of that time if we cannot come to some agreement?

2-3
Similar to last panel, but Hook has an easy, sly smile on his face, and Ursula is also smiling.  They are at last conspirators, in agreement on a mutually advantageous plan, even if they both know that they will betray each other in an instant.

Hook:        Threats ill become you Madam.  The fact that I will eventually achieve my dreams does not mean that I would avoid a shortcut to my goal.  Your magics can make me an Admiral, so be it.  I merely ask where on the island is the object you seek, that I may do you the favor of retrieving it for you.
Ursula:        Ah, Captain.  I see that we do understand each other.

2-4
On the island, Hook is alone, and he draws a sword against a charging triceratops.  It’s a great action pose.

Hook (OP):    I will not bore you with descriptions of the fantastic, savage creatures I encountered…

2-5
Hook walks up a ramp that winds around the lower part of the island, past a half naked bald man struggling to push a large round boulder up the seemingly endless incline.

Hook (OP):    …or tell of the natives, wretched and endlessly toiling…

2-6
Hook is waist deep in fog, staring into the starry night, at what appears to be a glowing angel.  He is stunned.

Hook (OP):    …but at the highest point of the island, I poked my head above the clouds, and viewed… I think I viewed Heaven, from afar…

3-1
In a cave, the walls carved with strange runes, and the floor covered in straw and feces, Hook holds a torch in one hand and a stick pink blob in the other.

Hook (OP):    What I found for her was a bubble: sticky, pink, translucent.  It fluttered in my hand as if filled with tiny hearts.

3-2
Hook is on the beach of the island, the pink bubble in his hand, the skeleton of a triceratops behind him.  His clothes are a mess, his hair wild.  He’s coming back from a grueling island ordeal, but he’s still Hook.  Ursula is in the water, reaching out with her fat arms and a slimy tentacle, but Hook remains out of reach.

Hook (OP):    In returning to the water’s edge I paused; In bargaining with monsters one wishes to always hold the upper hand.
Ursula:        I would claim my prize now, Captain Hook…
Hook:        I wish to know exactly how this Admiralty is to be conferred…

3-3
Ursula gets impatient, and angry.  Hook is calm, and doesn’t notice the shadow behind him.

Ursula:        Enough games, human.  I would possess my Hydra’s egg now…
Hook (OP):    I was a fool…
Hook:        You madam, will bargain properly or there will be no bargain…

3-4
Hook turns as the triceratops skeleton attacks, stabbing Hook, and knocking the Hydra’s egg into Ursula’s grabbing hands.  Ursula laughs.

Hook:        I turned on instinct, narrowly avoiding a mortal blow from the horns of the monster.
Ursula:        Ha ha ha!

3-5
Hook on the beach, the triceratops skeleton is in pieces, he holds his stomach where he has been gored, and watches in pain and on his knees as tentacles from the ocean destroy his ship and crew.

Hook (OP):    Wounded, helpless, I watched as the wretched sea-hag herself destroyed my ship and crew.

3-6
Back to Hook, similar to 1-1, but he’s even angrier than he was then, as if in telling the story he’s relived the experience.

Hook:        So that is why I will do everything in my power to thwart the plans of Ursula, would be “Queen” of the undersea world!
Caption:    To be continued…

Haunted Mansion #3

Haunted Mansion #3 featuring a story by Steve Ahlquist, Chris Reilly and Crab Scrambly is now available on Amazon.com. 

Chris Reilly Interview

Message from Chris Reilly,

Here's a link to the longest interview I've ever done:

http://www.mungbeing.com/issue_9.html?page=32#683

It's nice because he mentions me and Peeny-Boy.